pain! Pain!! PAIN!!!

I woke up Wednesday March 21, 2012 with extreme jaw pain.  I knew my mouth must have hung to one side during the night.  I mean it must have been glued down as I turned.  I have had this before and figured it would go away!  It didn't!  I said in my head you big sissy!  Give it a day or two.  By Saturday I was still in pain and I called the walk in clinic.  They didn't do much but tell me most likely TMJ so eat soft things.  DUH I figured that much out.  That following Thursday I was calling the Dentist for an appt to see if I had another issue like an abscess, all my teeth on the right side of my mouth needing root canals, jaw cancer.  After all what might cause me to keep having this pain for more than a week.  I called the Dr that I was referred to that deals with TMJ-  Closed for a week!  Booooo!! 

I visited my dentist that Thursday morning and he took x-rays, poked and prodded the teeth on my right side.  I don't do the dentist very well as my gag reflex seems to be outside my mouth. (In fact when I went to the walk in clinic the Dr said here let me show you how to do internal mouth massage.  I said ya I can't do that I have a bad gag reflex.  She said oh you'll be fine.  I put my finger in my mouth and immediately started to gag.  She stood back and said, ya you can't do this!) After taking gagging x-rays the Dentist came in and said, Ya I see nothing!  I'm in the dark but you need to go see Dr. Woodruff.  I thought dang I was so looking for a way out of this pain.  I said no root canal, abscess?    He said nope!  So he told me to take 600 Mil of Ibuprofen 3 x's a day.

This leaps me forward to today- Tuesday April 3rd.  I woke up with hardly any pain and that was after I forgot to take my pills before I went to bed.  I feel swollen and a very very mild ache.  What a great day!  Yesterday I had to go to Jury Duty.  I'm pretty sure telling them I was in pain all the time from the TMJ they decided my service wasn't needed. 

I have pain most of the day with my knee but these past 2 weeks have been horrible.  I have thought many times about people in the world who deal with constant pain.  I can get relief on some occasions and that helps.  I can see why people do drastic things in their lives to try to get relief.  All's I can say is I am sorry they have to deal with that in their life. 

It has caused me to ponder  upon the scripture ...all these things will give them experience... and that when we experience things in our lives those experiences help us feel compassion for others who have to deal with X daily.  Yesterday morning as I was getting ready to leave for work I said a prayer and asked Heavenly Father that if He could make it so I could get some parking spaces up close to the buildings I needed to be in that I would sure like that.  Could he also stay the pain in my knee and jaw so I could function for the day.  I told him it would mean a lot to me if he granted these blessings today. 

I drove to my first work spot and found a parking place right in front of the school.  I was able to proctor testing students by walking up and down the rows without much pain.  My jaw pain wasn't to bad yet.  I called to find out that I had jury duty (I thought I should have prayed they wouldn't need me but oh well) and then called the TMJ Dr. to make an appt.  She told me she had an opening tomorrow and could I make that.  I told her YES YES YES!  Then remembered I was headed to jury duty so I had to turn it down.  She promised me she would put me at the top of the cancellation list but the next open appt was a month away.  I walked to my car and drove down to the courthouse.  I drove to the parking deck and looked as each spot was taken but one close to the front on the other side.  I said out loud "THANK YOU Heavenly Father!  I know this is from you!" 

Yesterday I was the recipient of many tender mercies and blessings.  I know I have been touched by the divine hand of my Father in Heaven once again stand humbled at His love and kindness.  

What If???

Have you ever thought or wondered "what if"......  and then put different life choices after that what if?  I was driving to work yesterday and the thought came to me..  what if -Mike and I hadn't chosen to come to Florida for a job transfer?  Where would we be and what might our children be doing?   Florida living has been such a huge part of our lives.  I almost feel like we've grown up here.  This is our home.

 I know there are people who say you shouldn't ever play the what if game but I think it helps us see for one - how blessed we have been and how important choices are and how important it is to make those choices carefully.

My life has evolved by making choices-  What if I hadn't gone to Ricks College a zillion years ago?  I wouldn't have ever met Mike.  I would have missed out on some of the great friends I have now and my life would be totally different.  I view going to Ricks as a fluke on my part.  I was in a car with some girl friends and we were all talking about what we were going to do after we graduated.  One of the girls said, I'm going to Ricks College.  I said what?  Where is that?  She told me it was in Idaho and I said, hummm maybe I'll go there.  I don't even really remember filling out a college application but I do remember getting the acceptance letter AND telling my mom I was going to ID for school.  She had no idea I had even applied.  What if I hadn't been in that car at that time?

Interesting to think about while driving in the car... but it also makes me over joyed with most of our choices-  There are always the What if's that I ponder upon and think... that would have changed our lives for sure.  After Mike graduated from BYU he was searching for a job.  He applied at 2 different places.  1. EDS and 2. The FBI.  He went for 2- job interviews.  EDS sends him through multiple levels of interviews.  FBI said your pretty young come back when you have more experience.  EDS- offers him a job.  FBI changes their mind and asks him to come back in for another interview.  Mike said- Sorry already have a job.  Mike and I talk about that choice.  What if Mike had gone back to the FBI for that second interview and they had offered him a job?
 But I always come back to we have been very blessed in life and am so thankful for what we have chosen and where we are now.   BUT I still wonder...  WHAT IF????  :-)

Drive by picture taking

One of the best parts about working in Orlando is seeing the temple ALL the time.  I haven't made  it inside as much as I would have liked to but that's a different story.  One evening about dusk I was driving by the temple and it looked so beautiful.  I pulled over to the side of the road and took these pictures.  I love to see the temple and how it makes me feel.  I could have a horrible day and when I see it or drive by it the feelings that come from this building heal my soul. 

This one was with the window up- ignore the weird colors in the sky

I'm thankful that I came from a family who loved the temple so very much.  My dad was the stone mason for the Oakland Temple and my mother worked for years as a temple worker in the Oakland temple.  I am thankful that Heavenly Father has put such holy places on this earth at this time of life.  Oh how I love to see the temple and go inside as well!

Recording/Pondering thoughts

I found this on another blog and thought it was wonderful... 

“We may think there is little of interest or importance in what we personally say or do – but it is remarkable how many of our families, as we pass on down the line, are interested in all that we do and all that we say”

~ Spencer W. Kimball

I've been running another blog for over two years, it's called Tuesday Tell All, and I've decided to incorporate it into this one, so I can be more organized.... hopefully. This was the reason for the blog:


In the last few years both of my parents have passed away, with my father being the most recent in, Feb 2009. There have been key events, like getting married and having babies, that have happened since my mum passed away six years ago, and there were so many questions that I had for her especially during my pregnancy, that I never thought to ask. This blog was created to give suggestions for topics that could be included as part of my personal or family history, and hopefully yours. I will post a new topic every week. Feel free to leave comments with your thoughts about the subject on this blog, but more importantly, simply record or share your answers in any way you wish. You can see the original 'Tuesday Tell All' blog that this blog is inspired by, by clicking here.

Below are a list of topic ideas for recording/pondering or sharing your thoughts on:

• Share a moment that you will never forget when someone has shown kindness to you, or that you have done something for someone else that has affected you.
• How is the world now different from what it was like when you were a child?
• What has been your biggest fashion mistake. Post a picture if you dare!
• Do you remember your great-grandparents? What do you know about them?
• What is one of your favorite recipes?
• What are so me of your favorite things to do, or go to, close to home?
• What are the 5 words that matter most to you, and why?

Tis better to give....

Christmas day  was a wonderful day and almost perfect.  We missed having Rob, Brittany and Bebe with us the most.  Maybe we can snag them for next years gathering  where ever they will be.

Having adults children makes Christmas present opening a bit different.  I love watching them open each of their gifts.  Their expressions and thoughtful jesters of thanks.  Long gone are the ripping open of presents and throwing that aside to only open yet another present to be tossed.  For the last 2 years we have opened presents later in the day.  I have to say I kind of like that.

Mike and I have had some crazy work schedules so it has made planning what to do for Christmas a bit harder this year.  After I was done traveling to and from Orlando (the Friday before Thanksgiving) we drove over to Jax to visit the outlet malls the next day.  Ya that was odd I had just finish driving home the previous night for 4 hours and was back in the car for another 2.5 hour trip over to Jax.  But Mike was driving and he promised me Sticky Fingers for dinner so it really was fine.

During that drive Mike and I talked about what to give our children and he suggested we make quilts for them.  I laughed at first but he promised he would help with everything that needed to be done.  As I was listening to him talk my mind reflected back to many times years ago when Mike has helped me sew and get some other Christmas presents together so I knew his promise would be good.

I came home and with this new idea in mind and searched Pinterest for a quilt idea that would be easy enough to do in time for Christmas.  I fell in love with what I found and did some checking to see how hard these quilts would be to make link. I figured they would be pretty easy to do but they would be time consuming to cut and sew and clip.  But this was my choice and Mike agreed.

I went into a high end sewing machine store (they happen to carry fabric as well) and just happened to get a woman who had made these before.  She gave me lots of suggestions on how to do the whole quilt.  I was truly grateful.

We finally started and determined that Rob and Brittany's quilt would need to be first in line.  We sure did learn a lot from making that quilt. So here are each of the quilts we made.

  They are called Rag Quilts.

Rob, Britt and Bebe's Quilt

Alyse's Quilt

Kristen and Lance Quilt

Bryan and Michelle Quilt

For me this was such a labor of love.  I thought about each person as we made each quilt. There were times I wondered if we were crazy to take on this task with such a short time frame.  The quilts aren't perfect by any means but I hope our children know our love for them and get great use out of their Christmas Quilts.

Christmas is almost upon us.

As I sit down here to type I have a gazillion other things I should be doing but my mind is just overloaded for a few moments.  Mike and I finally finished the Christmas gifts for all our children.  It was such a great idea in Nov but now that they are done I am glad we moved forward with that idea.  I will share just what that is after Christmas morning but I will say I do have THE  greatest husband in the world who pulled his weight during this project.  And one terrific sister in law that gave me a day of service.

Today I took out all the presents that have been purchased and put them into piles.  I still have 3 more gifts to find and 6 more to finish.  I like to think our children will love gifts given from the heart more then gifts from the store.  Only time will tell come Christmas morning.

For me I have very few wants.  I have a wonderful life and usually all my needs and wants are filled throughout the year but I do have 2 that come to mind-  My first gift I asked Mike for was more TIME!  Time spent together and just time to do things.  But mainly his gift of time is all I ask.  Our lives are so crazy that we don't see each other as much as either of us would like.  The second gift would be fruit trees.  Oh and someone to dig the hole!

I love this time of the year as we search for the real meaning of Christmas.  Yesterday Kathy and I went to the temple to go through with Sapphire Rosier.  I can't think of anything better to give someone then the chance to progress eternally as their temple work is done.  Merry Christmas my new Sister friend.

After all our Heavenly Father gave us the greatest gift of all!  Our Savior Jesus Christ.  Oh what a wonderfully perfect gift that fits every need, every size and shape.

Merry Christmas my dear Friends!

For you are a King, but tonight you are mine.

I have always loved thinking about the night the Savior was born.  I have many nativities that I have collected through the years because of this love.  Being a mother myself I have reflected upon Mary's roll as the mother of Christ.  What did she ponder about that special night and all the other nights that followed?  Did she snuggle with him and know truly of His greatness and the life he would need to lead?  Did she whisper sweetness into his ears?  Did she stare in amazement that He had come to her?  And did she think for a moment he was just her's. 

I cherished the nights when it was just me and my sweet babe sharing some time together.  Of course there were many nights I was just exhausted but on those special nights as I would sit with my baby in my arms looking at them I wondering what they came to this earth to do.  Why did they come now?  Why did they come to me?  Why were they sent to us?  How could I raise them to the love the Lord? Who were these little strangers joining our family?  The list of what, who and whys were many.  But those were times of sweetness.  I am sure Mary had similar thoughts and feelings.   Today Alyse told me she and Kristen needed me to open my Christmas present.  I said but it's not Christmas yet.  She said it doesn't matter you have to open it.  As I did I had no idea what was inside.  Until I saw the word "Willow"  And then I eagerly opened the box to find this....

Mary's Lullaby

All mine in your loveliness baby, all mine.
All mine in your holiness baby divine.
Sing on herald angels in chorus sublime;
Sing on and adore, for tonight you are mine.

The wise men are coming to worship their King,
The shepherds are kneeling their homage to bring.
Out yonder the star over Judah will keep.
No harm will befall thee, then sleep baby sleep.

O let me enfold thee, my baby tonight,
While legions are singing in joyous delight.
A new star has risen to hail thee divine,
For you are a king, but tonight you are mine.

Away spectered future of sorrow and plight,
Away to the years that must follow tonight.
The pangs of Gethsemane, let them be dim,
The red drops on Calvary, not Lord, for Him!

O let me enfold thee, my baby tonight,
While legions are singing in joyous delight.
A new star has risen to hail thee divine,
For you are a king, but tonight you are mine.

Sing on herald angels in chorus sublime;
Sing on and adore, for tonight you are mine.

I have my mother large nativity set that sits on a round table in the corner of the room.  I leave that nativity set up all year long.  I want to remind myself often of the birth, life and death of our Savior and how because of him I get to return back to my Father in Heaven.  I will now be able to add another nativity set that will stay up all year long thanks to my two sweet daughters who so thoughtfully gave me another reminder of who my King is.