Life

So many thing have been on my mind lately.  I mentioned to Mike the other day that things seem odd to me.  We have friends who have/are getting divorced, friends who have cancer, or other major illnesses.  Life just seems to be a struggle for so many people we know.  There have been all of those shooting last year as well and even if I don't know anyone involved it's still a shock to my soul.  There is a strangeness in the air if you will.  It makes me sad inside to see and hear all of this.  How can so much be going on at once and it seems to be non stop.  How can life be so harsh.  Where is the love?  Where is the let me help you you?  Where is the peace?  

I have pondered this for sometime.  I have come to some conclusions and some pondering is still needed on many others.  But one thing that always remains the same and I come back to how much the gospel bring peace to my life and my soul.  When I get the panic feeling or the scared feeling that comes when things happen that seem out of the norm I just have to remember that I have the gospel and a living prophet who will lead me back to peace.  It doesn't mean it will make my/their life easier just that I/they will be able to deal with it.
 
Last General Conference there was a song that was sung that I instantly loved and love listening it to over and over.  You should You Tube it.  It's called "Does the Journey Seem Long?"

Does the Journey Seem Long?

Does the journey seem long,
the path rugged and steep?
Are there briars and thorns on the way?
Do sharp stones cut your feet
As you struggle to rise
to the heights thru the heat of the day?

Is your heart faint and sad,
Your soul weary within,
As you toil 'neath your burden of care?
Does the load heavy seem
You are forced now to lift?
Is there no one your burden to share?

Let your heart be not faint
Now the journey's begun;
There is One who still beckons to you.
So look upward in joy
And take hold of his hand;
He will lead you to heights that are new.

A land holy and pure,
Where all trouble doth end,
And your life shall be free from all sin.
Where no tears shall be shed,
For no sorrow remain.
Take his hand and with him enter in.

Text by Joseph Fielding Smith, 1876-1972
Music by George D. Pyper, 1860-1943  
Aren't those words just wonderful?  I didn't know until last night who wrote the words.

I have again been trying to read my scriptures faithfully and I started in the Book of Mormon AGAIN.  Keeping in my mind all the promises given to us by Prophets who have said reading The Book of Mormon will bring you happiness and peace along with other things promised.  I know this!!  I have read it before and I have been a faithful scripture reader but have slacked off for some time.  I'm listen to the scriptures on my way to work now.  I've finished 1 Nephi and started into 2nd Nephi.  I wasn't sure much was sinking in but today while in Sacrament as we were singing the Sacrament song I had the sweetest peaceful feeling come into my soul.  I have missed this feeling.  As we ventured through the passing of the Sacrament the Spirit was so strong in my heart.  I knew these feelings came because I had been reading the scriptures.

I have come to understand that as the world becomes more wicked my only source of peace will come from the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  It will bring peace to my soul as things continue to swirl about me that are ugly and unpleasant.  My heart aches for those whose marriages are gone.  My heart breaks for those who face unknown futures because of health issues.  My heart cries for friends who are choosing other things over gospel guidance.  I have to have faith and keep my focus on the Prophet and our Savior Jesus Christ.  Doing what I know is right.  Giving support to those who have had/are having life lash out at them.  How blessed I am, how blessed Mike and I are!  How blessed my children are.  How blessed my grandsons are.

I look forward to the day when all wrongs will be made right through the Atonement of our Savior.  Until then I will look forward and keep my eyes on the Savior and our Prophet.  One thing these feelings and experiences do is to remind me of what really matters in life.  Staying focused on the things that truly matter.

Liam

You know 9 months is a LONG time to wait for something.  Especially when it's a little baby.  It's an amazing feeling to watch your children become parents.  I loved watching Robby take on the roll of a dad and it seemed to come natural for him.  I was excited to watch Kristen take on her new roll as a mom.  It was fun to watch her growing belly.  And boy did it grow.  She was BIG.  As the time drew closer they kept telling her she had a big baby.  Dr.'s told Rob and Brittany the same thing and that he would be about 9-2.  He was 9-3!  So I believed the Dr's when they told Kristen he would be 9+.

Kristen asked if I would come in with them while she was in labor.  I told her absolutely.  I was so excited.  Then the last two weeks there was talk of a c-section.  I was sad for a little bit but what mattered most was the health of Kristen and Liam.

I loved watching Lance and Kristen talk together as a couple and go to the Lord and ask for guidance in how to safely get the little guy here.  As a mom of children you teach and teach and hope what you teach and live gives them examples on how to live their lives in depending on the Lord.  I was interested to watch how they were going to take on this challenge.  I told them what I have always taught as a mother, talk to the Drs, make an informed decision and then go to the Lord and tell him what you think is the best way and then listen.  They did all of that and came to what they knew to be the correct decision.  A c-section date was set and we waited what seemed like an eternity for it to get here.

Sept 21, 2012- It was such an exciting day mixed with some sweet sadness as that was the day my mom passed away 12 years earlier.  I like to think she sent Liam down with a final kiss as he made his grand entrance into life .  Kristen and Lance arrived at 9:00 AM and Lori and I decided we should get there no later than 10 saying that just in case the kids needed anything we could help.  I know we were both excited and couldn't stay away plus we were excited to greet this little guy.  I was excited for Lori as this would be her first grand baby and I remember so well the feelings I had as Rob texted us what was happening to them on the day Robby was born.  And then holding Robby the very first time was such a sweet feeling straight from heaven.  So I was very excited for her.

We were sitting in the waiting room, phones in hand with text messaging at it's best.  Out walked Lance and he told me that Kristen wanted to see me.  He said to me, but they told me NO CRYING our your OUT!  I stood up and the tears came.  Lance put his arm around me as we walked to Kristen's room telling me it was all good.  I couldn't hide the tears as I walked around the corner only to see Kristen all strapped up to monitors but she was full of smiles and anxious to get that boy in her arms.  

In some respects I knew the time had come for my baby to become a mom.  I knew she would be an amazing mom.  There were so many emotions all wrapped up into one.  Excitement to meet Liam yet worry that Kristen would be okay.  Back and forth the feelings went.  I was able to stay with her for about 30 - 45 mins or so.  Dr. Dixon called over saying he would be about 15 mins late so that meant I was able to stay just a smidge longer.  

Her nurse was wonderful.  I asked about to expect as far as a timeline.  She told me all I wanted to know, she would walk to the OR, they would get her ready ONCE they heard Dr. Dixon was on his way over.  Now I have complete faith in Dr. Dixon as I saw how amazing he was with Alyse when she had to have her surgery for a cyst.  That was the reason Kristen chose Dr. Dixon because of Alyse's experience and I told her that I thought he was fantastic.  I soon left the triage room and headed back to the waiting room where I told Mike to come on over.  The show was about to start.

Kaitlyn was with Lori and I, and had the presence of mind to look at her watch when I came out to explain what I had learned and the time frame.  I sat down and looked up and out walked Chris Sundstrom, a man in our ward who is an OB.  He walked over to Lori and I and told us he would be assisting Dr. Dixon.  My soul eased as I knew my daughter would be okay.  If anything happened she would have two priesthood holders with her.  Chris told us what would happen as well.  I told him hey take care of my girl okay.  He said don't worry she will be fine. 

 Lance is pretty fast at texting and kept us up to date as much as he could.  Lori got a text that said..  He's here and it's the most incredible thing I have ever seen.  I'm so in love!  We knew Liam had arrived.  By this time Mike and Perry had come and we were 4 proud grandparents and one proud aunt.  Lance came out and showed us pictures.  He ran back in to be with Liam and eventually Chris came out and said everything went well and he is a BIG boy!

We got word 10-8.  Wow no wonder K had issues carrying him.  She was a trooper.   Lance came out and told us that the grandma's could go back to see Mom and baby.  I told Lori you get to hold him first.  He's your first.  I just wanted to get to my baby and make sure she was okay...  She was loopy but doing great.  And then that sweet baby was placed into my arms.  Heaven was so close I felt I could touch it. 

 It's times like these that you want to drop to your knees and say a mighty prayer of thanks.  We had another healthy boy in the family.  Blessings that are over flowing my life and feeling like I cant even comprehend it all.  I remember feeling this same way when Rob text me that Robby had been born I couldn't leave my computer at the house.  I cried tears of joy as each text message came.  Mom and baby are both well and healthy. 

 Kristen text me to see if I would come and give Liam his first bath and show her how to do it.  I remember so well my own mother doing that for me.  I had flash backs and in my head I could once again stand and listened to her talk to each baby of mine.  Now it was my turn.

 Life is an amazing journey.  I remember my mom telling me how great it was when the babies came.  Being a grandma is an amazing job.  It is like having heaven so close you can peek through the veil.

Mike and I have goals and one of those goals is to serve a mission along side our two grandsons.  Mike had that privilege while he was on his mission as well.  We can't wait until the 4 of us are serving in the Lords army at once.  Until that day we get to spend the time watching our children teach and be examples on how to trust the Lord and know his will for us in our lives. 

AZ trip

Mike and I took a trip last Aug to AZ to see Robby, Brittany and Robby.  It was a wonderful time.  Mike and I were scheduled to fly out of Jax Thursday night but there was extreme weather in Atl so that plan was cancelled.  Mike the ever efficient one and I'm sure following upon heavenly promptings walked up to a nearly empty desk agent and was able to secure seats the following day bright an early.  I then watched as that line grew to well over 20 + people in a matter of minutes.
 
We made our flights and were into Phoenix by 9:30 am their time. We met Rob and Co at the Walmart parking lot to which it was awesome to see their smiling faces again.  Little Robby wasn't to sure about us but quickly warmed up to us.  We put them all in our car and we were off for a days adventure.  My 2nd great Grandfather who just happens to also be Mike's 3rd great grandfather is buried in Mesa.  I have done some family history work on him and his paternal line and I have wanted to go to his place of rest for a long time.  I made a copy of how to find his grave which lead us no where so I ran into the office to which they gave me a map of where we could find him.  And so we did... and a thrilled filled my soul.  This was a good man and I have wondered if he ever thought 127 years after his death some of his posterity would come back to see where he was buried. 

Robby cleaning the headstone

So happy to finally see this in person

Funny to think that Robby is related to him twice!  He is Rob's 3rd and 4th great grandfather and we had with us a 5th generation.   



Rob had been offered a job with Amazon in the Phoenix area and they had found some apartments they wanted to look at.  We went to one and left.  We drove to the second one and this was it!  They had found their new home.  Gated community so when Rob works nights Brittany will be safe.   Nice apartments with tons of room.  No bug and no barking dogs!  Mike and I were able to watch the little guy who entertained us as much as we did him while Mom and Dad filled out paperwork and made plans for the move. 

We picked up Rob and Brittany's car after a shopping trip to Costco and we were off to Miami AZ.  I found Miami an interesting and dusty little town.  It was a bit run down but it's what I always thought a mining community would be like.  Mike and I talked a lot about how AZ is NOTHING like we imagined.  It wasn't flat and brown with nasty reptiles slithering all over.  No it had mountains and lots of green all over.  Phoenix is huge!  Bigger than I ever imagined. One thing Phoenix does have are cactus everywhere and it seems like everything has a sharp point hidden somewhere on that plant.

After driving around Phoenix and checking out the sites and looking for possible places for Robby and Brittany to live we headed up to Miami.  The drive up to Miami was pleasant and provided us with new tops of conversation. It was what I had in my head.  A little mining town.  Lots of dirt and rocks.  But it had in it 3 bright spots for us.  Robby, Brittany and Robby.  We were so excited to be with them again and see this new part of their lives.

We had a blast with Robby, Brittany and Baby.  Robby took Mike and I on a tour of the mine he was working on. That was pretty interesting.

 One thing I found out was that Rob sometimes had to drive right by their house and he would toot the horn as he drove by.  Loved that he did that.We went on a walk in the evening which was fun.  We loved getting to know Robby as he had changed so much from when he was a baby. 

 What a cute little guy...  Such a sweet soul...  And he put up with me kissing him all the time.  We had so much fun playing with him.  He stole our hearts once again!

Now everyone pretty much knows I have bad knees.  They were feeling pretty good on the trip.  Robby and Brittany told us about some cliff dwellings that were near by.  Mike and Rob decided to walk up to them one morning early.  I bit the bullet and decided to go with them as well.  I am so glad I did it.  It for 1 gave me a sense of accomplishment and being able to do something I didn't think I could! But I did it!  Thank goodness I had two of the best walking buddies alive.  They stopped when I needed it and let me sit and rest my knees. 

 They encouraged me the whole way.  The uphill climb was hard yet alright physically and the things we were able to see were amazing.  It made me think of how many things we let go by us because we don't want to do something or it's to hard or we just don't have time.  Life lesson learned here!   Check out some of the great sites! Oh and tired of fighting with blogger on how to get the pictures two to a level. 

We all drove out to another site one evening.  Check out these baby blues!

It was a sad day when Mike and I drove away.  I miss this cute little family every day.  I wish they lived closer.  My life would be perfect if that was the case.  But I tell myself that life doesn't revolve around me and my wants.  I am so proud of the life they have created.  Our trip to AZ was amazing.  Since we left Mike has been back to help Rob and Brittany move into their new apt.  Rob started a new job and is learning the ropes.  I couldn't ask for a better Momma for Robby.  Brittany is a great mom and wife.  I'm so glad she's apart of Rob's life and our family. 

Life as it is

So as of yesterday I have lost a total of 35 lbs since I started over a year ago.  Ya for me.  It hasn't come easy and I have worked for each of those pounds.  I have bounced around from number to number and revisited those darn pounds more then I care to remember.  There are times I wish I would just wake up and the weight would leave in groups of 5 or 10 lbs but that isn't how it is.  As Eve so perfectly put it...  "we will pass through..." meaning I will eventually get there.  But this is a great time to learn and to enjoy and it is so important to enjoy this experience. 

Each morning at 5:30 am you can find me in the lap pool swimming for an hour to an hour and half.  It has become a great and fun part of my day.  As I swim each lap, the water rushing back and forth over my body, and I feel the muscles in my shoulders and legs moving together to help me get from side to side I marvel at the strength that comes with each stroke.  What I have enjoyed most is the freeing of my mind and allowing me to think about other things and ponder upon the good and bad in my life.  How to change things in my life or what needs to be changed.  I have been able to listen as I talk to Heavenly Father.  I have heard many profound thoughts in the quite of the water as he directs me in what I need to do. 

Mike has been coming with me to exercise.  He stays inside while I head to the pool.  It's nice to have someone to drive back and forth with and gives us a bit more time together.  There are so many things we have to live for and be healthy for.  And there isn't anyone else I would rather take on this journey of mine then Mike.

I have learned so much along this journey and I know I am not done learning.  I have learned and am still learning how to be control over my body.  How to live in the present and to be accountable for what I do and take into my body.  How to be master of my moments.  These have been  lessons long in coming.  But I have been able to grasp the pieces as they have come my way.  Piece by piece.  Sometime it takes time to figure out where that puzzle piece goes.  But it is slowly coming together.  It will take time to see the grand picture awaiting me.

I am truly happy I have ventured down this road.  So my journey continues and I'm excited to see what it will bring. 

When does time slow down?

So I find myself in May and wondering where in the heck did the months go?  When I think back on what has happened I smile and chuckle and think we have a great life.  So much is going on (perhaps that is why life is slipping by) and I keep telling myself that's a good thing. 

Mike continues to be busy with work and church.  I wonder how he does it sometimes.  He has a lot on his shoulders and that is part of why I love him.  He just keeps moving through life no matter what is placed before him never once does he complain or do shoddy work.  He is over the 7 stake Youth Conference this year.  That is in July and I know he will be glad to have that over with.  I try to help where ever he needs me to and good thing he has capable people to help him.  His trips to California are slowing down.  I don't like that either one of us travel.  BUT it is what it is and I keep finding in all of this we are blessed over and over again.  Our believe our children are blessed as well. 

Mike has been gone and will be gone this stint for 10 days.  Bryan and Michelle are out on really their first vacation and I am thrilled they finally get to have a real vacation.  One that isn't tied to Tallahassee areas or Gainsville areas.  So that left me and the girls in town.  I am thankful for my girls!  Alyse came over on Wednesday and swept and washed my floor and took the trash out for me.  She suggested to me that we eat Sunday dinner together.  She said corn was on sale.  That's a great reason to get together if you ask me.  Corn is yummy here in the south.  As we sat down to dinner our table was filled with roast, potatoes, corn, carrots, and salad.  When we were done our table was still filled with roast, potatoes, corn, carrots, and salad. 

Saturday Kristen came up and we dyed swaddle blankets.  Because we live here in the south and it is hot here during the summer and fall months it would be hard to swaddle a newborn in anything heavy.  But they have these cute and nice gauze swaddle blankets you can buy for $15.00 a piece.  Yikes...  thats a lot of money for one blanket.  So after doing some research on Pinterest (I LOVE YOU) I found a woman who bought fabric and dyed her own.  So I chatted with Kristen and we decided to give it a try.  I figured we could get 4 blankets out of 5 yards of fabric.  So I took the plunge and purchased cotton bubble gauze online.  It came and I wasn't sure I had made the right choice.  I almost sent the 10 yards back and got a thicker fabric but after reading a review from their website a woman said it was perfect for swaddle blankets.  So I washed it and fell in LOVE with it.  We cut the 10 yards of fabric up on Saturday (Kristen picked the colors she wanted) and we were off to the dye fest.  We dyed 9 blankets and a bunch of onsies.  So fun and they turned out great.  BUT to those who might want to do this... we discovered that Rit Dye... packets leave blotches.  Dylon packets are WONDERFUL as was a packet called Tulip. 

Anyhow, I have had a great time with my girls.  They have made sure I was doing okay and hung out with me while Mike has been away.  I love my family.  My children are the best there is. 

Robby and Brittany made it to AZ and are unpacking and creating a new home for themselves.  Rob starts his internship today.  Well this week is his training and then he officially starts next week.  I know they will quickly see the wonderful person he is and will be eager to keep him on.  I am sure they will find friends soon and quickly settle into this new life of theirs. 

So how great is my life.  Even with the bumps that happen because we live on this earth we are truly blessed by a loving Heavenly Father. 

The joys of being NAN!

We had some visitors these past 10 days and it was truly heaven!!!   I had a blast with Rob, Brittany and Robby!  What a delight this little man is!  I loved listening to him talk.  I couldn't kiss him enough! 

 

Driving Grandpa's car

Always a happy little man!

I love little mouth shapes as they talk!

I love this picture

Precious Savior Dear Redeemer!

I love Easter time.  It always puts things back into perspective.  I feel sad for people who don't see the real reason for Easter.  I had a co-worker who asked me on Friday "so do you have any special plans for tonight?"  I quickly clued into (always wanting to show/testify/be an example that I believe in Jesus Christ) what she was asking.  I said well I'm going home to clean BUT I am remembering the very sacred and important event that happened today!  I told her that on Sunday at church we would be celebrating Easter with song and talks.  She asked if we might have an Easter Breakfast and I said no but that they where having an Easter egg hunt for the kids on Saturday.

I love being able to share what I believe every chance I get!  I made this for the big picture on Face Book-  I think I'm going to love that new big picture thing! 

There are no words to express my gratitude for the precious blood that was shed for me.  I can only hope that my life will be a testimony to him of how I feel and the gratitude I have.  I know my Redeemer Lives!