Hair!!

So last night I did something I never thought I would do!  I dyed my hair.  Yikes!  I have always thought hair was a bit overrated!  Why spend all the money on something that will just grow out.   I have often wondered what my hair would look like when the gray/white started to emerge?  I did notice it coming but figure eh it looks fine...  Take a quick journey with me through my hair color and cut stages.  Ya you know you have time!

Mike and I on our wedding day 1981

Mike and I at Ricks College formal Dance 1978

Bryan and I.  Perhaps sometime around 1984 ish

The girls and I.  1991?

K and I at the Oakland temple 2006? 

Our anniversary celebration 20 years

2012 with our cute babies!

Jan 2013

March 21, 2013

So besides all the haircuts that looks like a mullets my hair has changed.  I have a friend at church who had(s) the same color of hair as mine.  She is older than I am so I have watched her hair to see the changes it's made.  I would look and say yep mines doing the same thing.  Then things changed!  Nancy came to church with red hair and she looked FABULOUS!  Since that Sunday I have thought about doing the same.  I talked to everyone I could think of who has dyed their hair, I talked to the gal who cut my hair.  I talked to my sister who said DO IT!  Call and make the appt right now!  I did and almost cancelled a zillion times!

When Summer was blowing my hair dry she turned my chair away from the mirror so I couldn't see.  But I would hear from her and Alyse I LIKE IT!  I was shocked.  It was sooo dark!  But it is growing on me.  Its something new and fun and the only thing it killed was my wallet!  :-)  I told my friend Peggy that with all the compliments of WOW!!  You look great, you look 10 years younger I wonder wow... was my old hair really that bad?  Did I look horrible?  I tried to do a side by side comparison and today I thought oh I'll just take another picture of my old hair.  HA!  Can't do that anymore!  Now I have other things to change on me!  After all it is springtime! 

Music the great communicator

Today at church we sang The Spirit of God for a rest hymn.  This caused me to reflect upon my feeling about this song and how it has helped to build my testimony of God.

When I was a teenager every other year our area was involved in the play/production of "And it Came to Pass" but we called it The Temple Pageant.  The pageant is performed in the Auditorium of the Tri-Stake Center on the grounds of the Oakland California Temple. I sang in the balcony choir twice.  It was a big deal to do this.  We would practice as a stake after church and on Saturdays.  Then as the performance drew closer we would meet with other stakes within our area and sing together.  I loved doing this.  The music would swell in my heart.

Let me set the stage for you we've practiced months and months.  We make a few dry runs up at the Tri-Stake Center next to the temple.  There are two groups of people involved for this production.  The cast and the balcony choir.  I always sang in the balcony myself.  But we were to learn the songs and find a dress that was all white.  We were instructed to enter quietly so the audience wouldn't know we were up in the balcony (and even taught how to stand without making a noise).  Anyhow, the play was about the history of the church.  It opened with Joseph Smith and his search.  The first song we sang was my favorite

"Who Am I". 

“Who am I, this being that I am, who walks the earth midst beings as myself?

Born was I of parents; who are they?

Why do I exist to walk a while and then depart? Who am I, who takes up time and space,

Who motions vacillate, some bad some good,

Who feels the null and void of all of this, without the question answered, who am I?

By happenchance have I come about by some ornate confusion?

By happenchance have I grown from rudimentary species eons past evolved?

By happenchance? By happenchance am I a worthless piece of thing

So dross, so void, so much of nothingness that when I pass,

My passing is just passing into past?

Who am I? This is who I am!

My spirit lived with my Father before the earth was formed. …

I am a child of my Father. I am a child of God.”

If you want to hear the song you can listen here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWOUxsyRq8U
 

 Anyhow, as we sang I would get chills that would go up and down my body.  Today I recognize that as a witness that what I am doing and feeling are true and a testimony was being born to me of the truthfulness of this gospel.  I have issues with remembering many things but words to some music just seem to come to my mind and I remember almost every word.  

The very last part of the pageant the balcony chorus stands and everyone is dressed in all white.  The cast is in all white and as we began to sing about the truthfulness of the gospel we sang "The Spirit of God Like a Fire is Burning.  Participating in this has left a lasting impression in my heart and soul.  So last Sunday as we sang this same song I was transported back 35 years ago to a balcony where these same feelings started. I loved being taken back and thinking back to this time. 

One other thought the second year we sang they added a song called "We are the Vision the Prophets Saw".  I wasn't in love with it because it was new and I felt no ties to it.  It almost felt like it didn't belong. It was really my least favorite song.  (I think it might have been written by Keith Merrill?) I remember sitting in the big hall at the Tri-Stake Center going over some rough patches with songs and we had been told that maybe Pres. Benson (He was President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles then) might attend the Pageant.  We were practicing "We are the Vision the Prophets Saw" and the doors swung open and in walked Pres. Benson.  I remember that day wanting to sing just a little better so Pres. Benson could feel that yes we are the Vision the Prophets saw.  For that moment this song had great meaning to me as I sung it for a Prophet of God.

“We are the vision the prophets saw.

We are the promise of the latter-day.

We are the vision the prophets saw.

We are God’s bastion in our humble way.”

 I remember the first time I went to General Conference and I was sitting on the left side of my mom on those old hard benches.  It came time to sing and I looked around for hymn books.  None were to be found and I found this rather odd.  I asked my mom how we were suppose to sing if we didn't have any books.  She said to me something that has stayed with me to this day (and always brings a smile to my face) if you want to sing with the angels in heaven you need to memorize the songs so you can sing with them as they probably don't use books in Heaven.  So to this day if it is a song I know I don't use the hymn book.  Cause I want to be in the Heavenly Choir and sing these wonderful songs of praise.  

Music is an amazing tool.  It makes you smile, it can bring comfort, it will bear witness to divine knowledge, it teaches, it can bring happiness to your moment or your day.  I love music in my life and all types of music.  Most times I think music has come as a gift from above.  Granite some music does not!  But none the less I love surrounding myself with music. 

Here is an New Era article written in 1977 about the pageant.  It no longer exists but for me it lives in my mind and heart.  https://www.lds.org/new-era/1977/02/songs-sung-backstage-and-in-balconies?lang=eng

 

Love, Thankful, Appreciation and all that stuff!

So today is Valentine's Day.   I have so much to be thankful for on this day and chances are you are on my list!  So here we go!

* A wonderful caring husband-  He has always let me be me.  He supports me in all I do. He is the kindest person I know and I love him dearly. Every year we are married I am more and more thankful for the day I said yes to his proposal and making it eternal by going to the temple.  I can't imagine life or the eternities without him.

* I have 4 amazing children who joined our family to make it what it is today.  I love them and love that they continue to teach me new things all the time and they teach me how to be a better mom.  They take care of me by always coming over when they can or texting me, calling and emailing me and especially when Mike's gone.  They are all amazing people individually and I am one lucky Mom.

* I have 3 wonderful children who have been added to our family via marriage.  How thankful I am they are apart of our family and they continue to bring depth and love in making our family better and stronger.

* I have two of the cutest and sweetest little grandsons alive.  They truly bring me joy each day and there is nothing better than being a Nan!  I love their smiles and bright eyes.  Such great gifts from Heaven. 

* I have wonderful siblings who support and love me and send me funny texts and emails.  I love when they call me and tell me about their lives.  I love them.

* I have 2 wonderful parents who have taught me vital life skills.  Even if they are on the other side I still feel their presence in my life today.  But oh how I miss them!

* I have been blessed with good In-laws and In-law siblings!  And In-law-law siblings who I consider my very own family members.  I have cute and bright nephews and nieces.

* I have the worlds BEST friends.  They are funny and thoughtful.  They bring smiles to my face on so many different occasions. 

* I love the world we all live in.  The beauty is overwhelming and the colors dazzle me!  

 * I love the scriptures.  I have enjoyed listening to the scriptures on my way to work.  My commute is 30-40 mins so I can get through many chapters.  I love the direction and peace they put in my heart and mind.

* I have THEE best Heavenly Father and Savior.  Well they are yours too but without them I would be nothing.  They have enriched my life more than I'm sure I even understand.  Because of them I am blessed beyond measure with the things I have mentioned above.  There is nothing better than the peace He gives my soul each day.

Life

So many thing have been on my mind lately.  I mentioned to Mike the other day that things seem odd to me.  We have friends who have/are getting divorced, friends who have cancer, or other major illnesses.  Life just seems to be a struggle for so many people we know.  There have been all of those shooting last year as well and even if I don't know anyone involved it's still a shock to my soul.  There is a strangeness in the air if you will.  It makes me sad inside to see and hear all of this.  How can so much be going on at once and it seems to be non stop.  How can life be so harsh.  Where is the love?  Where is the let me help you you?  Where is the peace?  

I have pondered this for sometime.  I have come to some conclusions and some pondering is still needed on many others.  But one thing that always remains the same and I come back to how much the gospel bring peace to my life and my soul.  When I get the panic feeling or the scared feeling that comes when things happen that seem out of the norm I just have to remember that I have the gospel and a living prophet who will lead me back to peace.  It doesn't mean it will make my/their life easier just that I/they will be able to deal with it.
 
Last General Conference there was a song that was sung that I instantly loved and love listening it to over and over.  You should You Tube it.  It's called "Does the Journey Seem Long?"

Does the Journey Seem Long?

Does the journey seem long,
the path rugged and steep?
Are there briars and thorns on the way?
Do sharp stones cut your feet
As you struggle to rise
to the heights thru the heat of the day?

Is your heart faint and sad,
Your soul weary within,
As you toil 'neath your burden of care?
Does the load heavy seem
You are forced now to lift?
Is there no one your burden to share?

Let your heart be not faint
Now the journey's begun;
There is One who still beckons to you.
So look upward in joy
And take hold of his hand;
He will lead you to heights that are new.

A land holy and pure,
Where all trouble doth end,
And your life shall be free from all sin.
Where no tears shall be shed,
For no sorrow remain.
Take his hand and with him enter in.

Text by Joseph Fielding Smith, 1876-1972
Music by George D. Pyper, 1860-1943  
Aren't those words just wonderful?  I didn't know until last night who wrote the words.

I have again been trying to read my scriptures faithfully and I started in the Book of Mormon AGAIN.  Keeping in my mind all the promises given to us by Prophets who have said reading The Book of Mormon will bring you happiness and peace along with other things promised.  I know this!!  I have read it before and I have been a faithful scripture reader but have slacked off for some time.  I'm listen to the scriptures on my way to work now.  I've finished 1 Nephi and started into 2nd Nephi.  I wasn't sure much was sinking in but today while in Sacrament as we were singing the Sacrament song I had the sweetest peaceful feeling come into my soul.  I have missed this feeling.  As we ventured through the passing of the Sacrament the Spirit was so strong in my heart.  I knew these feelings came because I had been reading the scriptures.

I have come to understand that as the world becomes more wicked my only source of peace will come from the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  It will bring peace to my soul as things continue to swirl about me that are ugly and unpleasant.  My heart aches for those whose marriages are gone.  My heart breaks for those who face unknown futures because of health issues.  My heart cries for friends who are choosing other things over gospel guidance.  I have to have faith and keep my focus on the Prophet and our Savior Jesus Christ.  Doing what I know is right.  Giving support to those who have had/are having life lash out at them.  How blessed I am, how blessed Mike and I are!  How blessed my children are.  How blessed my grandsons are.

I look forward to the day when all wrongs will be made right through the Atonement of our Savior.  Until then I will look forward and keep my eyes on the Savior and our Prophet.  One thing these feelings and experiences do is to remind me of what really matters in life.  Staying focused on the things that truly matter.

Liam

You know 9 months is a LONG time to wait for something.  Especially when it's a little baby.  It's an amazing feeling to watch your children become parents.  I loved watching Robby take on the roll of a dad and it seemed to come natural for him.  I was excited to watch Kristen take on her new roll as a mom.  It was fun to watch her growing belly.  And boy did it grow.  She was BIG.  As the time drew closer they kept telling her she had a big baby.  Dr.'s told Rob and Brittany the same thing and that he would be about 9-2.  He was 9-3!  So I believed the Dr's when they told Kristen he would be 9+.

Kristen asked if I would come in with them while she was in labor.  I told her absolutely.  I was so excited.  Then the last two weeks there was talk of a c-section.  I was sad for a little bit but what mattered most was the health of Kristen and Liam.

I loved watching Lance and Kristen talk together as a couple and go to the Lord and ask for guidance in how to safely get the little guy here.  As a mom of children you teach and teach and hope what you teach and live gives them examples on how to live their lives in depending on the Lord.  I was interested to watch how they were going to take on this challenge.  I told them what I have always taught as a mother, talk to the Drs, make an informed decision and then go to the Lord and tell him what you think is the best way and then listen.  They did all of that and came to what they knew to be the correct decision.  A c-section date was set and we waited what seemed like an eternity for it to get here.

Sept 21, 2012- It was such an exciting day mixed with some sweet sadness as that was the day my mom passed away 12 years earlier.  I like to think she sent Liam down with a final kiss as he made his grand entrance into life .  Kristen and Lance arrived at 9:00 AM and Lori and I decided we should get there no later than 10 saying that just in case the kids needed anything we could help.  I know we were both excited and couldn't stay away plus we were excited to greet this little guy.  I was excited for Lori as this would be her first grand baby and I remember so well the feelings I had as Rob texted us what was happening to them on the day Robby was born.  And then holding Robby the very first time was such a sweet feeling straight from heaven.  So I was very excited for her.

We were sitting in the waiting room, phones in hand with text messaging at it's best.  Out walked Lance and he told me that Kristen wanted to see me.  He said to me, but they told me NO CRYING our your OUT!  I stood up and the tears came.  Lance put his arm around me as we walked to Kristen's room telling me it was all good.  I couldn't hide the tears as I walked around the corner only to see Kristen all strapped up to monitors but she was full of smiles and anxious to get that boy in her arms.  

In some respects I knew the time had come for my baby to become a mom.  I knew she would be an amazing mom.  There were so many emotions all wrapped up into one.  Excitement to meet Liam yet worry that Kristen would be okay.  Back and forth the feelings went.  I was able to stay with her for about 30 - 45 mins or so.  Dr. Dixon called over saying he would be about 15 mins late so that meant I was able to stay just a smidge longer.  

Her nurse was wonderful.  I asked about to expect as far as a timeline.  She told me all I wanted to know, she would walk to the OR, they would get her ready ONCE they heard Dr. Dixon was on his way over.  Now I have complete faith in Dr. Dixon as I saw how amazing he was with Alyse when she had to have her surgery for a cyst.  That was the reason Kristen chose Dr. Dixon because of Alyse's experience and I told her that I thought he was fantastic.  I soon left the triage room and headed back to the waiting room where I told Mike to come on over.  The show was about to start.

Kaitlyn was with Lori and I, and had the presence of mind to look at her watch when I came out to explain what I had learned and the time frame.  I sat down and looked up and out walked Chris Sundstrom, a man in our ward who is an OB.  He walked over to Lori and I and told us he would be assisting Dr. Dixon.  My soul eased as I knew my daughter would be okay.  If anything happened she would have two priesthood holders with her.  Chris told us what would happen as well.  I told him hey take care of my girl okay.  He said don't worry she will be fine. 

 Lance is pretty fast at texting and kept us up to date as much as he could.  Lori got a text that said..  He's here and it's the most incredible thing I have ever seen.  I'm so in love!  We knew Liam had arrived.  By this time Mike and Perry had come and we were 4 proud grandparents and one proud aunt.  Lance came out and showed us pictures.  He ran back in to be with Liam and eventually Chris came out and said everything went well and he is a BIG boy!

We got word 10-8.  Wow no wonder K had issues carrying him.  She was a trooper.   Lance came out and told us that the grandma's could go back to see Mom and baby.  I told Lori you get to hold him first.  He's your first.  I just wanted to get to my baby and make sure she was okay...  She was loopy but doing great.  And then that sweet baby was placed into my arms.  Heaven was so close I felt I could touch it. 

 It's times like these that you want to drop to your knees and say a mighty prayer of thanks.  We had another healthy boy in the family.  Blessings that are over flowing my life and feeling like I cant even comprehend it all.  I remember feeling this same way when Rob text me that Robby had been born I couldn't leave my computer at the house.  I cried tears of joy as each text message came.  Mom and baby are both well and healthy. 

 Kristen text me to see if I would come and give Liam his first bath and show her how to do it.  I remember so well my own mother doing that for me.  I had flash backs and in my head I could once again stand and listened to her talk to each baby of mine.  Now it was my turn.

 Life is an amazing journey.  I remember my mom telling me how great it was when the babies came.  Being a grandma is an amazing job.  It is like having heaven so close you can peek through the veil.

Mike and I have goals and one of those goals is to serve a mission along side our two grandsons.  Mike had that privilege while he was on his mission as well.  We can't wait until the 4 of us are serving in the Lords army at once.  Until that day we get to spend the time watching our children teach and be examples on how to trust the Lord and know his will for us in our lives. 

AZ trip

Mike and I took a trip last Aug to AZ to see Robby, Brittany and Robby.  It was a wonderful time.  Mike and I were scheduled to fly out of Jax Thursday night but there was extreme weather in Atl so that plan was cancelled.  Mike the ever efficient one and I'm sure following upon heavenly promptings walked up to a nearly empty desk agent and was able to secure seats the following day bright an early.  I then watched as that line grew to well over 20 + people in a matter of minutes.
 
We made our flights and were into Phoenix by 9:30 am their time. We met Rob and Co at the Walmart parking lot to which it was awesome to see their smiling faces again.  Little Robby wasn't to sure about us but quickly warmed up to us.  We put them all in our car and we were off for a days adventure.  My 2nd great Grandfather who just happens to also be Mike's 3rd great grandfather is buried in Mesa.  I have done some family history work on him and his paternal line and I have wanted to go to his place of rest for a long time.  I made a copy of how to find his grave which lead us no where so I ran into the office to which they gave me a map of where we could find him.  And so we did... and a thrilled filled my soul.  This was a good man and I have wondered if he ever thought 127 years after his death some of his posterity would come back to see where he was buried. 

Robby cleaning the headstone

So happy to finally see this in person

Funny to think that Robby is related to him twice!  He is Rob's 3rd and 4th great grandfather and we had with us a 5th generation.   



Rob had been offered a job with Amazon in the Phoenix area and they had found some apartments they wanted to look at.  We went to one and left.  We drove to the second one and this was it!  They had found their new home.  Gated community so when Rob works nights Brittany will be safe.   Nice apartments with tons of room.  No bug and no barking dogs!  Mike and I were able to watch the little guy who entertained us as much as we did him while Mom and Dad filled out paperwork and made plans for the move. 

We picked up Rob and Brittany's car after a shopping trip to Costco and we were off to Miami AZ.  I found Miami an interesting and dusty little town.  It was a bit run down but it's what I always thought a mining community would be like.  Mike and I talked a lot about how AZ is NOTHING like we imagined.  It wasn't flat and brown with nasty reptiles slithering all over.  No it had mountains and lots of green all over.  Phoenix is huge!  Bigger than I ever imagined. One thing Phoenix does have are cactus everywhere and it seems like everything has a sharp point hidden somewhere on that plant.

After driving around Phoenix and checking out the sites and looking for possible places for Robby and Brittany to live we headed up to Miami.  The drive up to Miami was pleasant and provided us with new tops of conversation. It was what I had in my head.  A little mining town.  Lots of dirt and rocks.  But it had in it 3 bright spots for us.  Robby, Brittany and Robby.  We were so excited to be with them again and see this new part of their lives.

We had a blast with Robby, Brittany and Baby.  Robby took Mike and I on a tour of the mine he was working on. That was pretty interesting.

 One thing I found out was that Rob sometimes had to drive right by their house and he would toot the horn as he drove by.  Loved that he did that.We went on a walk in the evening which was fun.  We loved getting to know Robby as he had changed so much from when he was a baby. 

 What a cute little guy...  Such a sweet soul...  And he put up with me kissing him all the time.  We had so much fun playing with him.  He stole our hearts once again!

Now everyone pretty much knows I have bad knees.  They were feeling pretty good on the trip.  Robby and Brittany told us about some cliff dwellings that were near by.  Mike and Rob decided to walk up to them one morning early.  I bit the bullet and decided to go with them as well.  I am so glad I did it.  It for 1 gave me a sense of accomplishment and being able to do something I didn't think I could! But I did it!  Thank goodness I had two of the best walking buddies alive.  They stopped when I needed it and let me sit and rest my knees. 

 They encouraged me the whole way.  The uphill climb was hard yet alright physically and the things we were able to see were amazing.  It made me think of how many things we let go by us because we don't want to do something or it's to hard or we just don't have time.  Life lesson learned here!   Check out some of the great sites! Oh and tired of fighting with blogger on how to get the pictures two to a level. 

We all drove out to another site one evening.  Check out these baby blues!

It was a sad day when Mike and I drove away.  I miss this cute little family every day.  I wish they lived closer.  My life would be perfect if that was the case.  But I tell myself that life doesn't revolve around me and my wants.  I am so proud of the life they have created.  Our trip to AZ was amazing.  Since we left Mike has been back to help Rob and Brittany move into their new apt.  Rob started a new job and is learning the ropes.  I couldn't ask for a better Momma for Robby.  Brittany is a great mom and wife.  I'm so glad she's apart of Rob's life and our family. 

Life as it is

So as of yesterday I have lost a total of 35 lbs since I started over a year ago.  Ya for me.  It hasn't come easy and I have worked for each of those pounds.  I have bounced around from number to number and revisited those darn pounds more then I care to remember.  There are times I wish I would just wake up and the weight would leave in groups of 5 or 10 lbs but that isn't how it is.  As Eve so perfectly put it...  "we will pass through..." meaning I will eventually get there.  But this is a great time to learn and to enjoy and it is so important to enjoy this experience. 

Each morning at 5:30 am you can find me in the lap pool swimming for an hour to an hour and half.  It has become a great and fun part of my day.  As I swim each lap, the water rushing back and forth over my body, and I feel the muscles in my shoulders and legs moving together to help me get from side to side I marvel at the strength that comes with each stroke.  What I have enjoyed most is the freeing of my mind and allowing me to think about other things and ponder upon the good and bad in my life.  How to change things in my life or what needs to be changed.  I have been able to listen as I talk to Heavenly Father.  I have heard many profound thoughts in the quite of the water as he directs me in what I need to do. 

Mike has been coming with me to exercise.  He stays inside while I head to the pool.  It's nice to have someone to drive back and forth with and gives us a bit more time together.  There are so many things we have to live for and be healthy for.  And there isn't anyone else I would rather take on this journey of mine then Mike.

I have learned so much along this journey and I know I am not done learning.  I have learned and am still learning how to be control over my body.  How to live in the present and to be accountable for what I do and take into my body.  How to be master of my moments.  These have been  lessons long in coming.  But I have been able to grasp the pieces as they have come my way.  Piece by piece.  Sometime it takes time to figure out where that puzzle piece goes.  But it is slowly coming together.  It will take time to see the grand picture awaiting me.

I am truly happy I have ventured down this road.  So my journey continues and I'm excited to see what it will bring.