Self Discovery

This has been a long week. I chalk it all up to Mike being gone to California. I mean we are normal pretty busy with life when he is here but the operative word is- here. There hasn't been much time to chat with him this past week so our communication level is way down. 10 mins here or there just doesn't seem to fill my "need" cup that only he can fill. I miss my 2nd half. Life just doesn't seem to be as full when he isn't coming through the door each night.

I have had to deal with a few issues since he left last Sunday and while I have done just that, it doesn't seem to be the same. I don't know how someone who is single does it and I have some good friends who are in that boat and with children. I truly don't know how they continually do it by themselves? I miss his balance in my life. My mom use to say "you two are equally yoked." I have come to understand that phrase better the longer we are married. When one person leaves it's harder to carry the yoke. I miss my best friend and hope the time goes by quickly. Life is just better when there are two of you working at it side by side all the time. Doing it alone stinks!

We are very thankful for this opportunity that Mike has been given. I am sure whatever he is asked to do he will be amazing at. I just wish it wasn't across the country where he has to be amazing! But alas this is our life right now and I will be happy since all aspects of our lives we are doing quite well, we have great jobs, our children are doing well and they are happy! We truly are blessed. But for now... I miss my main squeeze!

I listened

One of the hardest things in life I think is not really to hear the voice of the Spirit but to recognize it and act on what you have been told. There have been times when I have been made aware later that I not only listened but I did what was suggested.

Yesterday was the first Tuesday of the month and I have a meeting with the Stake Presidency to go over the months calendaring items. My calling is to pass the info along to the wards and branches. I do a few other things as well but this is my main duty.

Mike has been out of town and so he missed this meeting. Yesterday morning I was sitting down to read my scriptures and I had a thought that said something to the effect- wouldn't it be funny if this was Mike's turn to do the scripture in the meeting and since he isn't there they turn to you and say, so how about if you give us a scripture in Pres. Ladle's place. I kind of chuckled inside and thought what are the chances.

I get to the meeting and everyone is chatting a little bit and they go to start the meeting. Pres. Campbell says gee it is Pres. Ladle's turn to do the scripture I think Sister Ladle ought to take his turn. Of course they all looked at me and I said, anyone have any scriptures? I would love to do it.

I was handed some scriptures and turned to what I had read that morning. Mosiah 5: 15 (I love King Benjamin)

15- Therefore, I would that ye should be steadfast and immovable, always abounding in good works, that Christ, the Lord God Omnipotent, may seal you his, that you may be brought to heaven, that ye may have everlasting salvation and eternal life, through the wisdom, and power, and justice, and mercy of him who created all things, in heaven and in earth, who is God above all. Amen.

I shared with them Pres. Wilcox's book I am reading and how Jesus Christ longs to seal us to him. And that in the end... it will be me and Jesus walking back hand in hand towards Heavenly Father "after all WE (Jesus and I) can do".

I loved this experience and am thankful I heard, recognized and acted upon. Shows me again that the Lord cares about the little things in our lives. Promptings ROCK! I hope I hear and act on more of them.

The Continuous Atonement

I am reading The Continuous Atonement by Brad Wilcox. I love Brad Wilcox and he is one of my favorite people in the world. He was Robby's mission president as well. I have bought many talks on tapes that he gave to the youth and our kids listened to them over and over again as well as I. There are a few people I stock and he is one of them. Well stock in a good way if there is one. When his book the Continuous Atonement came out I knew it would be a book I would read this year. For a couple of reason, 1. My New Years resolution has to do with understanding the Atonement better and the 2nd reason is it was done by Pres. Wilcox. A friend of mine handed me her fathers copy of the book and she told me that he knew I would like reading it. He got it as well because he was Robby's mission president. I am so glad he thought to send it my way!

Today after church I thought I really need to get this book read. I have enjoyed it and is has given me some new concepts to understand and to think about. I was in the chapter "After all we can do" where he has subheadings with this same scripture but accenting different words in this scripture. This section the word WE is accented. As I read this section it was as if electricity went through my soul. I grabbed my scriptures and quickly did a scripture chain and wrote down the thoughts he shared in his book. I am putting this on here not so much for others to read but to solidify in my mind what he said and to remind myself of the spiritual enlightenment that came to me today.

He says- when WE in the scripture is emphasized it's not we as in you and me but WE as in each of us with Jesus. 2 Nephi 25:23- It is by grace that we (you and I) are saved, after all WE (Christ and each of us) can do (together).

I love this thinking. It makes perfect sense! He then goes to D&C 123:17 which says... "Let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still...to see the salvation of God." Again, the words US, OUR and WE are not referring to you and me but to Christ and us.

C. S. Lewis said- We are now trying to understand, and to separate into water-tight compartments, what exactly God does and what man does when God and man are working together." (Mere Christianity, 149)

Then he takes you to Ephesians 5:22-23 and talks about Christs relationship with the Church as a marriage. "However, Latter-day Saints know there is a difference between a marriage and a sealing. Christ doesn't just intend to marry us he wants to seal us His forever. One of Jesus' names, Emmanuel, means God with us (Matt 1:23-25).

I am a huge grace fan. I have seen grace happen in my life many many times. I have asked for grace and have seen it delivered at the very moment I needed it. Pres. Wilcox shares that we don't reach heaven by seeing Jesus's grace supplementing our works and vice-a-verse. We reach heaven by covenanting, building a relationship and by cooperation and union. We and Christ working together. He being the perfect one thereby making us perfect. When we stand hand in hand with the Savior we stand worthy. He truly does complete me.

"Christ's requirement are not so that we can make the best of the Atonement, but so that - on His generous terms- the Atonement came make the best of us. Such a continuous word requires continuous enabling power. It requires more grace than can neatly be diagrammed, graphed, charted on whiteboards, or found in a concise listing of contractual responsibilities. Such power is found by going beyond defining parts and instead of forging a relationship with God and Christ that is greater than the sum of the parts. When we do finally pass through the veil that separates us and the celestial kingdom, it will not be a individuals who have done our parts. It will be holding hands with Jesus. On that sacred day there will be no Him and me- only we."

"Christ doesn't just make up the difference. He makes ALL the difference."

The Continuous Atonement- By Brad Wilcox

Oh Remember, Remember

I love this short clip. This is a great talk and one worth reading over and over again. It's true! Have you seen the hand of the Lord in your life? I have!

Trials

So today was the trial of a man who was arrested for DUI back in 2008. I was selected to sit on the 7 person jury. I often wonder why one person is chosen over another. Of course sometimes it's obvious like the women who kept shaking and stating that she was nervous and it caused her to have tremors didn't get chosen.

So today was his trial. We heard from 3 police officers all of whom pretty much collaborated each others testimony. It was interesting to see how the defense had nothing to state but to twist the words of those who were testifying. He kept asking the officers why their cars didn't have cameras in their cars. Why didn't they call and ask for someone who did. Anyhow, when we finally were released to go and deliberate we found him guilty quickly.

But all in all I learned today of a great eye Dr. who does Lasik Surgery. Not all men who have gray hair are older than 50. I saw pictures of Jurors children and grandchildren. I saw one of our jury members take another members plate after she was finished eating (she thought he was going to throw it away) and dump left over food on the floor. It was all in all an interesting day. Tomorrow I have plain old work!

What a day! Is it Monday?

So today was a downer of a day for me. We attended the funeral of a young man who was just barely 21. Funerals are always a bag of mixed emotions for me. I feel so sad for the family but yet so happy for the person being able to move onto a better place. It was hard to watch his parents and siblings today. His brother gave an amazing talk about him. He shared stories why Alex was such a great brother. I can't imagine how hard it is to lose a child. I hope I never have to go through that in this life.

Upon leaving the funeral we were told that another family we knew were going to take their son off life support. He was the ripe old age of 20. I received a call in the afternoon that Oren had passed away. Not only is this tragic but his mother lost her father 10 years ago to the same type of auto accident. I hope I never have to go through that in this life.

And I come home from work and discover that I have to attend Jury Duty. What else can go wrong?

Today the thought of "Life is Precious" keeps rolling in my head. Hold your children close and teach them to stay out of trouble so we can put the court system out of business!!!

Happy Birthday Mike-

Tomorrow is Mike's Birthday and I wanted to say, Happy Birthday to the love of my life. We celebrated his birthday yesterday since there was a ton of stuff going on today and tomorrow as well. I get to celebrate with him all by myself tomorrow night and I am looking forward to that!

Mike, when I think about how blessed I am to have you in my life I think about all the decisions that had to go right in order for us to meet. I'm glad everything did and the rest is history. I hope we get to spend a zillion more birthday's together. You are my best friend, the love of my life and the best father in the world.

Happy Birthday Darlin`